bRoKeNeSs

Luke 8:43-48
Now there was a woman who had been suffering from hemorrhages for twelve years, and though she had spent all she had on physicians, no one could cure her.  She came up behind him (Jesus) and touched the fringe of his clothes, and immediately her hemorrhage stopped.   Then Jesus asked, "Who touched me?"  When all denied it, Peter said, "Master, the crowds surround you and press in on you."  But Jesus said, "Someone touched me; for I noticed that power had gone out from me.  When the woman saw that she could not remain hidden, she came trembling; and falling down before Him, she declared in the presence of all the people why she had touched Him, and how she had been immediately healed.  He said to her, "Daughter, your faith has made you well; go in peace."

As I wrote this passage out, I couldn't help but notice that the woman practically snuck up behind Jesus and touched Him.  She didn't come up beside Him.  She didn't come up in front of Him to touch Him.  She came up behind Him!  Why?  Why did she do that?  What was she thinking?  Was she feeling shameful and fearful because of her illness?  She couldn't help that she was sick or diseased!  It's not like bleeding was the result of sin that she should be shameful of.  Bleeding was out of her control.  Physical sickness can be a result of sin, but often times it's completely independent of sin.

I can relate to this.  I felt shameful, dirty and unlovable with my surgeries.  But why?  It makes NO sense!  They were out of my control.  I wasn't dirty!  I wasn't unlovable!  And yet, I felt shame.  Why?

Why would she have been fearful?  Was she afraid Jesus would be upset with her for touching him?  Doesn't seem likely....He had never gotten upset at anyone who had asked Him for healing before!  Was she fearful of what the crowds would think of her?  BINGO!  Again, I resonate with this!  We (at least I) are often fearful of others' thoughts about our weaknesses, insecurities, and short comings. People tend to praise strengths, power, & special abilities but we criticize, critique and look down on anything less.

Why do we do that?  We all have weakness...so knowing that they create fear in our own hearts, why would we judge the weaknesses of others?  I'm guessing the answer is simple.  Pride...it makes us feel somewhat better about ourselves when we can find weaknesses in others.

So, what would happen if her fear & shame trumped her hope in Jesus and his ability to heal?  Would she have just stayed back in the mediocracy of the crowd in hopeless wonder?  Thankfully, she didn't do that. She had only one hope left after trying everything else possible.  She stepped out in faith, pushed forward, reached out and caught the 'fringe' of His clothes.  She reached out still carrying shame and fear, but found "immediate" healing.

Then, to what seemed like her biggest fear, she was busted!  Jesus totally knew she'd touched him & He called her out!  He wasn't angry, He wasn't condescending, He wasn't judgmental....He simply brought her shame, fear, sickness & weakness out into the open, and He turned it into a beautiful story of healing, grace and faith!  Centuries later, we are still learning from it!  Let's face it, she made history!!!  She made it into the world's greatest, most popular, most sold book today....The Bible!

Since Jesus was all about parables & healing, I can't help but wonder if He also healed more than just her physical sicknesses....I'm putting money on the practicality that her emotional and spiritual life was changed, too.

So, where does this leave us?  Why would we wait to reach out in faith?  What are we afraid of?  If God wants to heal us, will we let shame and fear keep us from this?  What can man do to us anyway?  Point fingers?  Make fun?  Criticize?  Judge?  And if he does, who cares?!  Especially considering that we get to reap the internal and external blessings of God's healing grace!

What's holding you back?

Psalm 118:6
The Lord is for me, so I will have no fear.  What can mere people do to me?

Deuteronomy 31:8
The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you;  He will never leave you nor forsake you.  Do not be afraid;  do not be discouraged.

Psalm 139:1-18
You have searched me, Lord, and you know me.  You know when I sit and when I rise; you perceive my thoughts from afar.  You discern my going out and my lying down' you are familiar with all my ways.  Before a word is on my tongue, you, Lord, know it completely.  You hem me in behind and before and You lay Your hand upon me.  Such knowledge is too wonderful for me, too lofty for me to attain. Where can I go from your Spirit?  Where can I flee from Your presence?  If I go up to the heavens, You are there;  if I make my bed in the depth; You are there.  If I rise on the wings of the dawn, if I settle on the far side of the sea, even there your hand will guide me, you right hand will hold me fast. If I say, 'Surely the darkness will hide me and the light will become night around me,' even the darkness will shine like the day, for darkness is as light to you.  
For you created my inmost being; You knit me together in my mothers womb.  I praise You because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;  Your works are wonderful, I know that full well.  My frame was not hidden from You when I was made in the secret place, when I was woven together in the depths of the earth.  Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in Your book before one of them came to be.  How precious to me are your thoughts, God.  How vast the sum of them.  Were I to count them, they would out number the grains of sand.   When I awake, I am still with You.