ReFiNeMeNt

Isaiah 48:10
I have refined you, but not as silver is refined.  Rather I have refined you in the furnace of suffering.

Reflecting on the many areas of my life that God is/has refined, is a little overwhelming.  It's upsetting initially, because it is a bit painful.  But ultimately, I'm very thankful.  Refinement feels like a 'punishment' or a 'taking away' of something that has an element of fun, pleasure, or satisfaction.

Zechariah 13:9
I will bring that group through the fire and make them pure.  I will refine them like silver and purify them like gold.  They will call on my name, and I will answer them.  I will say, "These are my people," and they will say, "The Lord is our God."

Webster's definition of Refinement is the process of removing impurities or UNWANTED elements from a substance.

The difference between the definition/reality of refinement vs the illusion/delusion of refinement is the perception of the elements that are being removed.  If this difference is simply a perception, then I pray for a new perception.

Daniel 12:10
Many will be purified, cleansed and refined by these trials, but the wicked will continue in their wickedness and none of them will understand.  Only those who are wise will know what it means.

Perception is the way you think about or understand someone/something; the lens that we view life with.

Spiritual Perception is the ability to see beneath the outward form to the underlying, often hidden reality.

Luke 5:22
But Jesus, aware of their reasonings, answered and said to them, "Why are you reasoning with your hearts?"

I would love to perceive the world more like Jesus does.  I see trials and pain as hinderances in my productivity and freedom.  I see them as a punishment.  Maybe I wouldn't be in such a hurry to get past/through these points in life if I could better grasp the depth of the purposes behind them.  If my thoughts were more aligned with God's, maybe I would be more grateful for the trials and changes I undergo.  What if God is really giving me something better by taking things away….like a parent who takes something from their child good or bad….it's often to bless them with something more special.  The gift is so much more special than the object that's removed.

Jeremiah 29:11
"For I know the plans I have for you," says the Lord.  "They are plans for good and not of disaster, to give you a future and a hope."

Fish out of Water

I grew up with my grandparents being within 3 blocks of my house my entire childhood.  They had a pool and I had parents who loved to swim, so I naturally began swimming when I was very young.  I was a fish out of water!

I'll never forget the first times my Dad and Mom tried teaching me how to float.  I could swim like a little fish and I knew many different strokes, but floating was a different story.  When I was told to lay on my back and 'relax' or 'just trust us, we won't let you sink'.....I freaked out!  As I would begin to feel like I was sinking, I would revert to what had worked before.  I'd splash my arms and legs around until I found myself in an upright position!  To stay afloat and alive in the water, I had always actively done SOMETHING!  So, how silly did it seem to expect to stay above the water when I did NOTHING?!?!

The idea of floating on my back didn't even make sense.  I didn't seem to be good at it.  It seemed boring.  What was the point?  I didn't move or go anywhere!  Why would anyone WANT to learn this?

Yet, Dad and Mom insisted that I become a proficient floater.
"Just relax....I'll have my hands right under you!"
"Trust me, Jennifer....I will be right here."
"Try not to move your arms or legs,  just slow down your body and breathing."
"Let's keep practicing..."

Thankfully, my parents were patient and knew what was best for me!  After a lot of training, I could actually float!  I started to notice things differently than I had when I actually swam.  I became aware of the clouds, the sky, the birds.....how the clouds moved at unique speeds, how bright the sun was and how warm it felt.  The contrasting types of birds.  The shape of the walnut trees in my grandparents yard.  The distinct way the wind made the branches and leaves move.  The way the water felt against my skin when I moved only slightly.  It seemed so strange to hear both the sounds that echoed under the water and the crisp noises above it, simultaneously!

There was something very valuable to resting on the water....I felt refreshed.  Floating seemed invaluable if I ever got into a pinch in deep water.   How bizarre that I'd spent so much time in the water and yet never experienced the world in this light!  How could something so physically idle, bring about such an mental alteration?

Maybe this could shed some light on the verse Psalm 46:10.  "Be still, and know that I am God…"
If we don't move, how can we be productive?  If we don't work, how can we attain? Yet, repeatedly, the Bible shows our need to just REST in Gods presence.  In Luke 10:38-42, there's the story of Mary and Martha who are hanging out with Jesus.  Mary is hanging, but Martha is working.  Martha is annoyed with Mary for just sitting around listening to Jesus while she ran around "distracted with the day's preparations." Sounds familiar.  I'd be annoyed with Mary.  And how does Jesus reply?  "Mary has chosen what is better."  Como se what?!  Sounds pretty ridiculous to me!

Strangely enough, God has had me in the LONGEST season of 'being still.'  What if He truly is sovereign, even if it doesn't feel like it?  What if He truly loves me more than I can comprehend? What if, like my parents, He knows something special that He wants to share with me?  Is it possible that something incredible could come from ME doing nothing and HIM doing everything?  Instead of me laying back, kicking and screaming, fighting to be upright...what kind of blessing could come if I just trust God's hands to hold me as I rest in Him?